Same Screw-up, Different Dungeon (aka The SSDD Blues)
by PhoenixDragonDreamer
Summary: You know how this adventure thing goes – we land, we have adventures, we go home. It's a simple enough thing. Though you have a point about the…everything else…that occasionally goes with.


**Warnings:** Silliness, Humor, Dialogue-Fiction, Abuse of Hyphens  
**A/N:** Written for **dw_allsorts** (original Claim Table '_Proverbs_' can be found **here**). **Prompt used is: **_#02. Nothing ventured, nothing gained_. This one will likely smack of 'odd' and 'whut?!' to most people, as it is _nothing but dialogue_. That's correct. Hardest thing to write fiction-wise, hardest format to get 'just right'...so (of course), Eleventy said this was how it was going to be done. I apologize in advance if you actually read the darned thing. I'm hoping it is amusing, even as it may lack anything close to coherence. Mostly unbeta'd and written in one go, so please forgive any mistakes and/or blatant vagueness. As always, I apologize for any repetition, misspellings, sentence fails, grammatical oh-noes and general horridness. Unbeta'd fic is overly-thinky/blithery and unbeta'd.  
**Disclaimer(s): **_I do not own the scrumptious Doctor or his lovely companions. That honor goes to the BBC and (for now) the fantastic S. Moffat. The only thing that belongs to me is this fiction - and I am making no profit. Only playing about!_

* * *

"Let's go have a look he said, perfectly _harmless_ he said –"

"Well, it _looked_ abandoned, how was _I_ to know it was closed for a private party?"

" – we'll just go poke about and see what happens he said, after all nothing could go wrong he said."

"Ah-ah-ah, I never said that! I said 'nothing ventured –'"

" – 'nothing gained'. Right. Well we 'ventured' and gained these shiny new manacles –"

"Not exactly shiny. And they're hardly new either, look to be about ten years old and with the wear and tear in this damp –"

" - _and a prime spot on the executioner's block tomorrow_! But only after we spend a luxurious night in this stupid dungeon with the-the rats and gosh knows what else! We crashed a royal _wedding_!"

"And a lovely one it was, too, you have to admit. The reception was sparse though and they aren't exactly known for dancing here. A pity, really. With all those extra limbs –"

"Oh! This always happens! _Always_."

"Not always. Just on days that happen to end in…day. I see your point. Right. Sorry. But look, you weren't exactly digging in your heels, were you?"

"Not helping."

"Sorry."

"Really?"

"Yes. Just a little. But only because we didn't get a slice of that cake before they tossed us in here. Though I must say, as unpleasant as being arrested was, they were rather polite about the whole thing."

"You are impossible! I just…arrghhh – why didn't we hang back, be sensible?"

"Because that's not what we do. You know how this adventure thing goes – we land, we have adventures, we go home. It's a simple enough thing. Though you have a point about the…everything else…that occasionally goes with."

"Mmm. Rory was sensible though."

"He always is. Rather like that about him, really. Wonder where he's at right about now. He did give them the slip –"

"Probably letting us sit it out for the night, teach us a lesson."

"Not his style at all. Even when he's angry."

"Oh, was he ever. Next time I'll make a mental note to _not_ anger my husband before landing in a dungeon."

"Very useful note, that. Seeing as how this _is_ our second dungeon this month. Bit better than the last one. More comfy. You can really tell the type of people you are dealing with by their guards and their dungeons. I must say this one is first rate. If you are going to be arrested and tossed in the gaol, it might as well be a clean one with polite guards. Must make it easier for them to execute people. Though I would have liked to have not missed dinner. Or gotten that slice of cake first."

"Cake was probably rubbish. Looked like it would be rubbish. Anything that overly fancy and pompous looking is bound to taste like – "

"_Rory_! See? Told you he wouldn't leave us in here, Pond. You should have more faith in him. Even though he looks like he's still rather angry. What exactly did you two fight about?"

"It was nothing, Doctor. Amy. I'll have you two out before the morning, but…paperwork. You know how it is. So you might as well get comfy, yeah?"

"What do you mean, get – how are you walking about and we're stuck in here, anyway?"

"Perfectly simple. I found an invite in the TARDIS and walked right in. Looks like you've been here before, Doctor – and they aren't overly fond of you – so I had to do some talking to get them to release you, without revealing who you really are. Helps when you dress the part, too."

"Gorgeous Rory. And very smart you look, too. So…how did you get them to spring us?"

"Oh, that was easy. I just told them that you, Doctor, were my idiot half-cousin twice removed and Amy was my equally idiot wife who thought it would be a lark to break in when they had perfectly good invites. Seems that happens a lot with these things, so they're willing to overlook it. So…no beheading. But they're sticklers for paperwork. Hope they left a few blankets in there."

"Rory…Rory come back – oh!"

"I think when we get out of here, you two should have a talk. Maybe over a nice cuppa and –"

"If you say cake, so help me –"

" – some nice Jammy Dodgers. They are rather marvelous as an ice-breaker. Especially since it seems jelly babies are no longer available except on the black market. Mmm. Jelly babies."

"Don't get started on those. I can see us going after illegal jelly babies and winding up in –"

"Another dungeon, Pond? Truly, do you have so little faith in me?"

"Not answering that. Budge over. They've left a blanket, but only the one – and I know you likely hog duvets. You look the type."

"I'm wounded, truly wounded. There. That better?"

"Very. Thank you. You know, this is a nice dungeon. As dungeons go. Not musty – which is always a plus."

"There's my Pond. Always a silver lining, 'ey?"

"Let's save that one for the next adventure, Doctor. And…Doctor?"

"Yes, Amy?"

"Next time we go to 'poke it with a stick'? Let's just not and say we did."

"And the next time you and Rory have a…_disagreement_ –"

"Break out with the tea and biscuits before leaving the TARDIS."

"Sound idea, Pond. Now – we don't have an execution to attend in the morning, which can be very tiring from what I hear. Better get your rest as you can."

"Yes, Doctor…Look – when we finally do get out of here, can we –"

"Go somewhere a little more restful with less dungeon?"

"Something like that. I saw a brochure for Appalapachia –"

"We'll run that one by Mr. Pond in the morning. Speaking of mornings, though – goodnight, Amelia."

"Mmm. Good night, Raggedy Man."

* * *

"Hmph. Still think a spot of that cake wouldn't have gone amiss. Oh! Forgotten I had a packet of jelly babies in that pocket."

"Good_night_, Doctor."

"Right…goodnight, Pond."


End file.
